New Entries to the Philosophical Lexicon
(Local Edition)

Hegland, n. A land, allegedly in the antipodes, where philosophy and theology are carried on in a spirit of absolute pessimism. Also, Heglander, as in, "Aw, God is good at least part of the time. Don't be such a heglander!"

Berntsonic, adj. A heretical argument presented with clarity and posed innocence. "His berntsonic argument for the non-existence of Hell was strangely compelling."

Gunn, n. A philosopher predetermined to fire an entirely absurd presupposition at a perfectly sensible argument. "Everyone agreed on my position except the one gunn who insisted determinism is equivalent to fatalism."